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[01 Jun 2007|01:53am] |
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if she loved me, she'd be here right now.
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[18 Jun 2006|10:48pm] |
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i fucked a slut yesterday.
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[29 May 2006|09:25pm] |
it feels so good
into my skin
sink it in.
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[28 Apr 2006|02:14am] |
so pretty much, tomorrow is going to be SO MUCH FUNNNNN:
- start things out with the dentist!! (teeth cleaning) yayyyy
- then work, and i close with shannon!!!!!!!!!!! :D
- thenn, ant's bday bash for the rest of the night!!!!!!!
wow, can you feel the excitement yet?!
ps. anybody that reads this has an automatic obligation to go to down for the count's show sunday, i mean, its free. cmon, what else do you want?? anywho, more info on the show can be found here: www.myspace.com/down4thecount
xoxox
pss. im contemplating getting my hair cut. what do ya'll think????
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[26 Apr 2006|10:01pm] |
so, my new job is pretty much the best. i'm a "third key" right now, which is basically a "M.I.T." (manager in training). Sooo, my manager said that i should be an official assistant manager by the end of next month (when we open up the new store in northridge). I'm soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!! Mike (my manager) and i are gonna move in and are probably going be looking for a place early next monthhhhh around the area of the new store, probably not in northridge though cuz its not all that nice, i'm thinkin woodland hills or sherman oaks :-D ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
i seriously love this job. it's sooooooooooo laid back and chill. everyone is flippin awesome. i just cant wait til i move to the new storeee. it's going to be even chillerrr x 1029312830921830
xo
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[25 Apr 2006|07:53pm] |
I love my new job.
...or maybe it's who I work with.
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[24 Apr 2006|12:52am] |
it's finally over now, for good.
it's time to start a new life.
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[23 Apr 2006|07:40pm] |
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i didn't used to be this numb.
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[23 Apr 2006|06:40pm] |
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i didn't used to be this weak.
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[23 Apr 2006|04:21pm] |
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so, i've been making a lot of mistakes lately, but i guess that's how you learn.
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[22 Apr 2006|08:10pm] |
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scenic show tonite.
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[22 Apr 2006|02:51am] |
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
"Do you like to hurt?"
"I do! I do!"
"Then hurt me."
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[20 Apr 2006|09:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
im moving out to burbank by the end of the monthhhhhhhhhh.
*excited*
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| dirty dirty girl girl |
[02 Apr 2006|07:53pm] |
wash out your mouth, sugar
your forked tongue lingers of other men.
we could do it all night, baby
shall we poise our hearts for another round?
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[01 Apr 2006|02:57pm] |
my first day of work was awesomeeeeeee. its such a chill job, im super exciteddd. and im wayyyy stoked about SAN DIEGO!! ajfoisjdf;asoj
xo
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[26 Mar 2006|05:55pm] |
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i'm a failure at life.
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[26 Mar 2006|12:34am] |
tonite=funnn with leigh, steve, and huntley!!
so yeah, tonite was the emery/anberlin show at the henry fondaa!! emery put on an amazingg show as usual. lots of kids there!!
lol steve if you're reading this, remember "10 o'clock" on the balcony?? ahahaaaa
i loooooove mels diner!! best place everrr to go to after shows.
ahhhhh
ok that is all
nite
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[22 Mar 2006|10:26am] |
okay. the story is that: she told me i was the only guy she talked to. she told me i was the only guy she thought was hot. she told me i was the only guy she wanted to be with/hangout with. she told me she loved me.
the following are only a FEW of the emails i've recently discovered:
oh, the emails start from the bottom up and i tried to seperate them by putting huge spaces in between each email, so dont get confused! (just look at the dates ×)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Ahh, Check it, my technique is flawless.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:35 PM
next to long beach
where the 91 meets the 605 if you know freeways
or ....by cerritos / long beach
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:27 PM
makes sense... where is lakewood anyway?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:27 PM
when theres no traffic
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:25 PM
only sometimes??
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:22 PM
sometimes =)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:18 PM
oh, that's not too bad...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:16 PM
lakewood, like 45 min away.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:15 PM
oh well your uncle must be pretty awesome, since he lives in santa clarita haha. where are you at?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 8:10 PM
lol thats far
my uncle lives there
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:44 PM
impressed!? lol
doubtful...
what about you?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:43 PM
whoaaa lol
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:34 PM
santa clarita...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:33 PM
where is that?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:31 PM
sounds like fun, but im stuck here for now
lame
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:23 PM
go to vegas
i spend 3 days there
really nice =)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 7:13 PM
nice, pretty much doin the same thing... im over it and need to figure out something better to do...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 6:50 PM
chillin talking to ppl being bored =..
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 6:15 PM
haha yeah
nothing is really going on... whats up w/ you?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 6:13 PM
lol sweet
dont know you
whats up
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 6, 2006 6:11 PM
um yeah, don't know you, but...
you=sexy
<3
(im bored& probably bingdumb)
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: imma straight felon.
Date: Mar 6, 2006 6:09 PM
was the shit
went riding
to the strip
at steak 3 nights in a row
went crazy at the football game over some dancers
kyle got wasted off 1 cup of beer
all n all it was good
this next email is actually pretty hilarious, because when i asked her what she was doing friday night, she said she was hanging out with her mommy! awww, makes me wonder what she really did other times when she said she was with her mommy...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 3:42 PM
no idea,
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 3:28 PM
it sounds like funnnnn... do you know a guy named david morrison?? hes in my math class lol but he plays hockey!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 3:07 PM
hockey always comes first
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:44 PM
i found out there was a hockey team at hart... like a week ago... and i foudn out about the game this morning... so i have no idea yet.. if nothing better comes along i guess that'll be an option lol
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:43 PM
r u going to the game tonight, or r we not a hockey fan
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:42 PM
just for fun..
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:41 PM
oh, yeah the first year was great.
do u dance for fun or on a team
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:40 PM
haha i loveeed jgs when i was little.. then i just did it cause the mom made me.. umm not into any sports really, i just dance.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:38 PM
6 years... thats about 4 to many.
i dont really remember many people from it. do u do any sports now.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:36 PM
that i did... 6 years of it!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:35 PM
good guess, and i take it u did junior guards too, right.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 1:13 PM
coooolll... i go to hart, my guess is you go to saugus!?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 1:06 PM
yeah i did junior guards
, ur pretty cute too.
what school do you go to
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Mar 20, 2006 11:08 AM
you're hot
do i know you???
did you do junior guards??
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: anthony
Date: Mar 20, 2006 7:24 AM
monday night at 6:30 at the ice station on the Olympic side. come watch.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: matt
Date: Feb 26, 2006 10:26 PM
where is this coming from little lady???so you think im gay now.......calling me pretty and stuff...wow...im hurt
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Feb 26, 2006 9:55 PM
hey
you are like amazingly pretty...
for a boy i mean
the end
this one was a message from becca to matt:
oh boy, i hate to tell you something like this... but you know your little girlfriend at work... well about her if you didn't know... she has a boyfriend, she is two timing you! ahhhhh okay im a dork the end
see ya around fatty
<3
you should seriously consider saturday night, for some serious becca hang'age
this one was a message from becca to ben:
Q: what has love become?
A: lots of cookies and hot chocolate home alone watching sad movies crying and wondering what the one you love is doing... ice cream works too sometimes...
and for some crazy people (my ex) it becomes sitting in their car outside your house waiting for you to leave so they can say bye one last time
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: matt
Date: Feb 10, 2006 11:00 PM
true...you found a solution to my extremely difficult and complex mathematical experiment...well done......ya...anyways...whenever you want...im here.......think of a good day...and we'll do something...ok...im off to sleep...for tomorrow....we have college entrence exam tests..YAAYAYAYA...wait..oh ya...no
-matt
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Feb 10, 2006 10:56 PM
yeah i pretty much rock like a sock heck yes... but here is a math problem for you... life - work = free time... wait what... but yeahhh so you are the one that wanted my shift on saturday... but i like your shift more, so i am glad!! thanks buddy!!! but we both don't work all the time mr. mathmatition
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: matt
Date: Feb 10, 2006 10:52 PM
no......i dont think im black...."homie"......anyways....i dont know.....its like this......you working+me working=no free super cool hang out time............theres a little math prob for you.....ohh ya...and you took me sift for sat.....i liked that shift....thanks........loser....jk......and im pretty sure you rock 10 bazillion times more...in fact.....you "rock" my socks....there i said it.
-matt
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Feb 10, 2006 10:49 PM
ummm do you think you are black??
cause you know... you aren't
but u rock anyway
i guess
when are we going to hang out g
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: matt
Date: Feb 10, 2006 10:46 PM
ouick question...how is this at all relevant to me......HUH...girl you trippppppin
-matt
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rebecca
Date: Feb 10, 2006 10:37 PM
sara says YO DOG DORK MUFFIN IM SEXY
she called me sexyyyy
end.
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[19 Mar 2006|12:35am] |
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i'm in love..
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[16 Mar 2006|06:41pm] |
it allll makes sense now.
im just stress to her.
duh
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[13 Mar 2006|04:07pm] |
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i hate getting mind fucked.
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[12 Mar 2006|11:35am] |
forget my name, forget my face
because it's gonna rain, it's gonna rain
and it never ends.
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| i cant get my mind off of you.. |
[10 Mar 2006|01:13am] |
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i like band practices :)
i like playing music
music makes me happy
im really excited for our show tomorrow!
ahhhhh
i cant wait!
oh yeah, i'm getting a tattoo tomorrow after the show
who wants to come with?
.
.
.
i sincerely wish i kinda had someone to cuddle with after the show
anybody want a cuddle buddy?
my pillow is getting old.
ahhhh, its going to rain tomorrow!
you know what sounds really good for tomorrow?
being in a nice cozy/warm place and sippin' some hot chocolateee!!
omg omg!!! i just thought of seeing a movie!!! ahhh, like, after the show, maybe gettin some food, then hot coco, THEN seeing a scary movie like the hills have eyes!! AHHHh that sounds soooooooo good for tomorrow. any takers?
kk bed time
i better see all you suckers at the show tomorrow!!
xoxo
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| oh my! |
[09 Mar 2006|02:58pm] |
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oh boy
ive wasted a month trying to get her back
and all i got in return was... well, nothing.
heartbreak after heartbreak
and maybe some form of "love"
a love that never wanted to see me
a love that didn't visit me in my time of need
a love that.. well i'm starting to question if she even loved me at all
BLAH
.
.
well no more games for jeffweeee!!
last night really opened my eyes
like whoa
xoxo
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[08 Mar 2006|12:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 numb |
] |
i need a change. im going to stretch my ears again. im going to pierce my lip again. im going to get a tattoo. im going to get a job with nate and move in with him by next month. i love music. i love fashion. this is me.
i need to clear my head.
I CANT FUCKING TAKE DEALING WITH MY PARENTS ANYMORE.
so to sum everything up, the past couple months have been some of the worst months of my life.
everything else aside, i will not let myself fall in love again. oh no. never.
there was so much more that i needed to tell her, but it's too late. she said to call her in a couple months. what the fuck does she think is going to happen? does she think that she's NOT going to find another guy? or hookup or fuck or flirt or hangout or GOD KNOWS WHAT. it's bound to happen. i need to realize she really does want to move on, and i have to let go, no matter HOW MUCH I WANT HER BACK. AHHHHHHHHh just hugging her again was INCREDIBLE. im so FUCKING STUPID AND LAME. fuck love FUUCK LOVE FUCK LOVE FUCK LOVE FUCK LOVE X1000000000000000000000. i hate that i cant act on my feelings for her. FUCKFJASFOSAFJ MOTHE RUCKER FJUCIJREK MOTHER UFCKER FUCKER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know that feeling in your chest when you're depressed, the kind that makes you cry? well instead of that, i just feel numbness, so i guess the pills are helping.
.
.
.
well, she's really given me no choice. she obviously wants to forget EVERYTHING and move on even though I STILL FUCKING LOVE HER AND DREAM ABOUT HER AND WHO THE FUCK CARES!? NOTHIGNS GOIGN TO FUCKING CHANGE. so, i bid farewell to the finest 3 months of my life. we loved together, and we cried together.
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[07 Mar 2006|07:36pm] |
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love is overrated.
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[21 Feb 2006|07:48pm] |
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goodbye.
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[20 Feb 2006|06:03pm] |
ummmm
AHAHAHAHAA
yeaaa
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[19 Feb 2006|11:13am] |
i keep building my hopes oh so high,
only to get shot down.
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